Marjorie Virginia (Gilbert) Choate 1928-1999

Since Arthur put a tribute to Robert Choate (Grandpa) on his blog, and he never got a chance to meet Marjorie (Grandma.) I thought I would share this paper that Shonda wrote for her college English class.

Bob and Marjorie made a great pair- they complemented each other, and although there were times, they spit and sputtered at each other they were a little like the old couple in On Golden Pond. They were married for 52 great years. We all miss them.

The Dancing Gorilla
by Shonda Betz
October 2006

It’s sad to think that I don’t remember much about my grandmother. Even though she died when I was old enough to comprehend, it was during the time that she was alive that I took for granted. As a matter of fact, the only thing I completely remember is her laughter.

My grandmother’s laugh was magical. It could light up the whole room and make everyone in it want to laugh with her. Even after she had gotten sick with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, she kept laughing until the day she passed. It amazes me to look back and realize that with all the pain she encountered she still had enough spirit left to laugh. I know that is the type of person I would like to be.

I was first observant of my grandmother’s strength and spirit when I was about four years old. She taught defense to young children at a local school where she lived in Ohio. Being her youngest granddaughter, I was a very special exception when I went down to visit.

“No!” she would shout, crossing her arms, imitating a young child in danger of being abducted. “Now you try it” Being four and stubborn, I was no stranger to yelling “no”

"NOOO!” I screamed my forehead scrunched up in anger, nearly growling out of my curled lips. She looked at me a while before she started laughing.

"Very good” she complimented, still chuckling at the attitude and spirit of her grandchild.

It was a few years later when I had gone down to visit my grandparents after Thanksgiving to help my grandpa make his yearly batch of peanut brittle. My job was always the same: grease the pans. It was boring, dull and most of the time I left clumps of butter stuck to the metal side. This particular season, I decided that I was going to do the job perfectly. Grabbing my napkin, I scrubbed my heart and soul into that pan. I was determined there were going to be no butter clumps this year.

Showing off the three pans to my grandmother proudly, I sat back and waited for her reaction. Surprisingly, after looking curiously at the small tubs on her table she began to chuckle.

"Bob," she giggled loudly into my grandfather’s ear. “Look what she did to the pan!” I was shocked. I thought I had done excellent work.

"What did I do?” I demanded to know. My grandmother grabbed the pans off the table and held them down for me to see.

“You scrubbed all the butter off” she burst out laughing at my much too eager attempts. At first disappointed, I began pouting solemnly in the kitchen chair, my knees pressed up against my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs. But my grandma kept laughing and I eventually gave in, laughing at myself.

It was about this time when my grandmother found out she was sick. Nothing changed about her mood. When the hallucinations started occurring she could still laugh about it. It was because of her happy disposition that I never realized how sick she really was. The last day I saw her was the day she passed away.

When my mother and I walked into her house everything was the same. My grandma was setting peacefully on the couch working whole heartedly on one of her crossword puzzles. My grandfather was watching one of his baseball games on the television, the volume blaring just so he could hear. We sat for four hours laughing, talking and catching my grandparents up on what was going on in my life. We left and ten hours later we got a phone call that she had passed away.

At her funeral, her sense of humor shined through. Flowers, plants, and other gifts that our family received were piled around the front of the funeral home. Sitting almost unnoticed, with the exception of a few people, was a small stuffed gorilla clinging to the trunk of a small tree that my grandmother’s sister had sent. Occasionally it would start singing the Macarena.

"What is this?” my great aunt fumed, disgusted by the fact that the florist would put a singing and dancing gorilla on her plant without her permission. “I’m going to call them RIGHT now!” My cousin quickly stopped her, before she stormed off.

"Aunt Lois!” my cousin laughed, “we put it on there! It was one of Grandma’s favorites!”

Aunt Lois turning her head curiously to the side looked one more time at the gorilla as it suddenly started to sing one more time.

We all began to laugh uncontrollably. How could we not? We continued to laugh for the rest of the night. I am sad to have lost that wonderful woman from my life but, in my heart I knew that we could celebrate her life.

My grandma taught me about the kind of person that I want to be. I want to be able to laugh at all my flaws and through all my pain. I want to have people at my funeral talking about what a giver and how I was kind and wonderful person I believe that that is the most important lesson that I have learned so far in my life. It’s because of her life lesson that I now feel that I am ready to take on anything that life throws my way and in a few years start a family of my own.

Another Exciting Week Some good books

Not much happening - AGAIN
Anna went to a couple of Basketball practices and did not like it at all, she didn't like the coach yelling, hurry up, you have to be faster. At the urging of a couple of other girls she went out for cheerleading, and everyone makes the team. Because she is so small she was selected to be one of the "fliers" but 3 of the four girls who are her lifters have never done that before so there are some challenges in working that out- you can't fly if your lifters cannot lift and hold evenly. She seems to be having fun and says the girls are much friendlier than some of the girls she has had in her classes.

She as had some of the girls come up to her and tell her not to talk to some boy because that is so and so's boyfriend. In an effort to meet new people and make new friends, she asked one of the girls on the equestrian team if she could be her physics lab partner. The girl shrugged gave her " a look" and said , I guess, when another girl came up she said "is SHE working with us? Girl 1 said again with a shrug and a look, "I guess."

One of the girls whom she is working with in Spanish knew me from DI, and is a real sweetie, they seem to get along better.

Anna is frustrated because so many of the kids do not do their work and the teachers let them get away with it and don't feel like they can move on if 95% of the kids don't "get it."

For example: In English the kids were supposed to read the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and have a quiz on it this week and because most of the kids have not read it, because it is "too hard" Anna-Lena has to read, it Charlie reads it then they discuss it because she is trying to understand the old southern dialect and she got it done. The teacher has given them another two weeks.

In Spanish they have taken the same "map quiz" three or 4 times. When one of the girls said something the teacher said, something about her being smart and couldn't she the teacher couldn't move ahead until the class gets it.

It seems to me that if the teachers would not coddle them quite so much and really expect them to do their work they would get farther,

On to more "cheerful" subjects. Brian, Shonda's boyfriend, got a nice 8 point buck this week, and his dad got a really nice one too. I don't have any pictures, maybe Shonda took some I can share later.

Only three days of work this week- I am taking Friday after Thanksgiving off, I don't usually do that. I don't plan on doing any heavy shopping either- I hate those crowds.

Oh, a hint for those of you who might be checking several blogs, if you subscribe to a feed, you only have to check one spot to see which ones have been updated. Go to Common Craft- Social Design for the Web for a better explanation.

I sent an e-mail to those I thought might be interested but in case I missed you- I added some family history pictures to my flickr account, last week. go to flickr.com and search for betzspt- it will pull up all of my pictures.
Anna also has an account- if you are interested search for annaleanwerner. You can also do an RSS feed on flickr accounts.

I just finished reading Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen- It was a pretty good book. I'd be interested in what some of the rest of you thing.

I also read Bless Me Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya, the book chosen for the Libraries "Big Read" this year. I did not care for this one, but would be interested in what the rest of you thing about this one too.

For more light reading- A Bear in the Attic by Patrick F. McManus, I try to take some of these with us when we travel, It is something all three of us can listen to and enjoy together.

If any of you have read The Mitford Years series of books by Jan Karon, She is starting a new series, the first one Home to Holly Springs, and takes Father Tim back to his boyhood home.

Later - JB

Que' Pasa?

As George Carlin used to say "Que' Pasa?"
My answer, not much this week, pretty quiet here, At work I had orientation for two new library employees, I think they will work out well, they both seem to be a lot of fun and have a lot of enthusiasm.
At home, Winter sports awards- Anna received an all conference academic athlete award for having a grade point of 3.2. She also received an MVP in Cross country, I think all three of the Seniors did for being good role models for the younger team members.

Anna went bowling with the Cross country team on Friday and shopping in Lansing with one of the girls on Saturday. She and Shonda are Christmas shopping again today.

Charlie got a couple more pictures of deer on his trail camera- I think they are of the same deer he got pictures of last week.

Noting else- pasaing here.

Quiet Week

A quiet week. Anna had a cross country meet on Monday the Jenson meet at Sharp Park
Anna came in about 30th , with a time of 22:20, her personal best.
She is trying out for basketball. Practice starts tomorrow, she has never played American Basketball, but has played German Handball, which I guess is played as a team sport, We’ll have to see how it goes.

Shonda and Anna went Christmas Shopping yesterday- Shonda says she didn’t want to wait until the last minute.

Charlie moved his trail camera and got a couple of pictures. He moved it to a new spot the other day and when he checked it today there was a big scrape and rub across the “trail“ from the camera.

Anna asked me if other people could go out hunting, with hunters, I told her sure, although Charlie hasn't hunted yeat this year he would probably take her out and let her see what it is like. I told her they really don't do much except sit and wait for something to walk by.

Talk to you all later. J.